Perspective

So I know I posted a blog earlier today, but I wanted to share some things that have happened that have caused me to think about my views. Like I said, I want to be able to keep you updated with what I’ve been doing, but I also would like to share how I’m being challenged mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as well, if you’re up for it!

Just a word of warning, though, this is a long post, so feel free to read as much or as little as you want/can.

Sunday I went to Latin Mass at St. Aloysius, which was my first time to attend a Catholic service. It was definitely an experience. The format was not something I was used to, but it wasn't that hard to follow along with everyone around you. I’m not sure it would be something I could do every Sunday, but it was a sensory experience for sure: the repetition of phrases, the continuous standing, sitting, and kneeling, the overwhelming scent of incense. It all added to the introspective nature of the service. This is partly due to the fact that as a non-Latin speaker, I didn't understand 75% of what was said, so I spent a lot of time in personal reflection and prayer anyway. But I think that’s something everyone needs from time to time.

It was very personal in terms of reflection, but rather impersonal in terms of the interaction you have with the people around you (which is basically nonexistent). The more I think about it, the more I realize that that was how I felt at St. Aldate’s as well, but it was just an overall different atmosphere. There was a very set structure for the order of worship, what the clergy did and said and the congregation’s responses. Non-Catholic churches have an order of worship as well, coupled with routines, but I feel like the Catholic liturgy is a lot more rigid than the order of worship at my Baptist church back home. However, something that my friend Ethan said helped change my attitude towards that. He commented on how cool he thinks it is to be able to say things that have been said for thousands of years and feel that sense of connection to a long line of past generations through worship, by speaking those same words. Again, I don’t think it’s something I could appreciate every Sunday, but it does give it a new feel for me. Their prayers were also very world-aware, like at St. Aldate’s. I just love the global prayers they have here. Not that we don’t in the States, but it seems a lot more prominent here.

Not only am I learning to respect and appreciate the ideas and traditions of denominations other than my own in Christianity, but the Cross and Crescent class that I’m in is also working on shifting my attitudes towards other religions, specifically Islam. Dan McVey has such an appreciation and respect for the Islamic community and is trying to share that with us. Don’t hear me say he’s trying to convert us because he is not a Muslim himself. But we are learning about Islam and Muhammad from a non-negatively biased source, and it is fascinating. I am being stretched (in a good way) to consider the beliefs of others and how to deal with that in my own faith and translating that into my relationships with others. I have had Muslim friends in the past, but we never really talked about religion. I feel like I could have a more informed discussion with them now, which is always something I value.

Yesterday was probably my favourite day of the semester so far, though. Dan and his wife, Brenda, are taking French with the 6 of us students, but they missed class on Friday because of a prayer meeting they went to. So to make up for it, they had us over for dinner last night, which I thought was really sweet. I hadn't had a chance to talk much with Dan and Brenda so it was good to get to know them on a more personal level. They are both very sweet people, and I’m looking forward to getting to know them even more over the semester. Our discussion was really easy, but more personal than I’m used to with faculty. I love that about the community we have here. We aren't restricted to traditional boundaries when you’re living with the same people. And while that can be a challenge in and of itself, it is also incredibly satisfying to delve deeper into getting to know people.

A really great example was what happened right after dinner. I went to Kimberly’s room to chat, and we must have talked for at least three hours. She is such a sweet woman, and I am so glad she’s on this trip with us. I don’t think it’s weird or uncomfortable at all having a woman in her 40’s here with us. There may be others here who feel differently, but Kimberly has been such a joy to get to know. Our personalities are very compatible, she’s so nice, and we have a lot of the same travel interests. Sitting in her room tonight, just sharing our thoughts about the semester so far and life in general, was such a wonderful experience. I feel like I've gotten to know her so much more and I just like her all the more for it. Plus, being in different stages of life but experiencing a lot of the same thing brings new perspectives to the table that we are able to share with each other. It’s pretty crazy how similar those perspectives are, though.

I think I mentioned that there is a small group that I've gotten to know really well so far as well. And seriously, if I don’t get to travel with any other people but them, I will leave at the end of this semester completely content, without regret. Where I travel is so much less important than who I travel with. And so far, my travel group has been very successful and fun all around. Traveling in groups can be a challenge because the more variables there are, the more the possibility for dissent arises. Yet that’s just another challenge that we’re all learning to overcome. Compromise is all a part of growing up and learning how to love the people you’re with, sometimes over yourself.

We haven’t even been here quite two weeks and I've already experienced more emotionally these past 12 days than I did all last semester. I've gone from feeling socially inferior and unwanted to finding that group with whom I can just be myself and not worry about coming across as “cool”, from freaking out about being in a foreign country without my normal familial support to learning how to navigate transportation to different cities and planning without going completely mental. I’m already growing so much, but I've got to give credit where credit is due. From a young age, my mom taught me a lot of the essentials of life (basic cooking, laundry, planning for the unexpected), basically teaching me to be self-sufficient. I’m feeling very proud now that I actually get to put that into practice.

Sometimes I forget or brush it aside, but so much credit also goes to God, Who watches out for me, even when I’m not paying Him attention. Sometimes (and really, if I’m being honest, most of the time) I don’t have a servant’s heart, but that’s why I’m loving these worship services I've attended. They’re providing me that much needed time to reflect on all that He has done (and is continuing to do) for me. It’s hard not to love life right now, and it’s only Week 2…

Thanks for reading (if you made it all the way through), and I’m really excited to continue to share my journey with all who want to take part. I hope to be able to bless someone or simply be an encouragement. Again, feel free to comment or start a conversation. I’d love to have a dialogue with any who are interested!